Indiana Jones and Doom’s birthday voucher

Recently, I celebrated my birthday. Normally, it is a day of great anticipation where you can wake up, put new clothes and impatiently impatient to receive GIFs transmitted to WhatsApp groups. But at my age (I am in the late 1940s … Extremely from the late 1940s … that is to say 53), birthdays are not serious since everyone has one per year ( 7 times a year if you are a dog). However, people will wish you with humor with the originality against smuggling “Hey Rahul, at your age, the candles cost more than the cake … ha ha” which was funny in 1872 when Joe Biden was desired for the first time. As with each passing year, dozens of entities that otherwise never bother to meet me during the year like my brokerage home, my insurance company, this guy below that promised to pay his Share of drinks as soon as possible, etc., fell back to wish me. At the head of the queue were of course the banks.

I am with the same bank in Singapore and all my bank accounts are with the same bank. I am at this stage of the banking scale where I always refer to my link with banks like my accounts. Banks, on the other hand, want to call it a relationship, a strategic partnership, a family, etc. My mortgage is also from the same bank. Banks love to offer you loans because once you have signed the papers, in the coming years, you can roughly reimburse Maurice’s GDP and a kidney to realize that you need even more money to the bank. There are mummies in the Egyptian pyramids that always pay for their first obelisk. This happens because of something called basic points. Overflowing with indignation, you trample in the branch to demand an explanation, to be encountered by a 22 -year -old dressed in a costume that looks so intelligent that he could earn a chess tournament. He will tell you in a tone that teachers normally adopt while teaching “Jack and Jill” to 3 -year -olds

“Sir, this is due to the recent hiking movement by the Fed and the growing propagation between the markets, an adjustment of the basic business points of the weighted according to the risks was made for your advantage”.

In these cases, your best option is to nod your head intelligently, mumn “I see” and slowly take a step without any sudden movement which could make it scream “strategic partnership” and get you out with another loan. Apparently, I must be a very good customer because my advantages are not cheap. I am sure that every evening, interest spreads guys, basic points, premium risk guys and my relationship director, the other five, do a little dance and order beers and pizzas, which are also called “administration charges” in my mortgage declaration.

This year, the day of my birthday, my bank sent me an automated message generated by computer transmitting the personal wishes of the distributed interest, wishing me a good birthday and explaining to them my value, so kindly that my email had Soon ants everywhere. As a measure of their sincere love, they extended many birthday treats via good gifts, which involved me to spend more money rather than getting anything as a gift. Several of these good “exclusive birthdays” have brought a series of cold climbing conditions of impracticity on the lines of

1. Please call in advance 2 weeks before the appointment.
2. The offer should be used in the month of your birthday.
3. The calls are made by wearing another color, but Mauve would be invalid.
4. You cannot look for what “purple” means.
5. If you ride your eyes on reading D, we will have to increase your “administration costs”

So, fundamentally, all offers had more qualifications than the New York marathon. A gift offer in a line was singularly responsible for generating enough eye rolls to take care of a family of 8 to 9 conditions. The conditions that the bank, with the establishment of donations, seemed to have thought of making the good usable carefully, that after the birthday boy had rushed under barbed wire and climbed on electric fences.

I fear that other establishments will be inspired by these practices. Imagine that your doctor sends you a 20% reduction voucher to get a heart stent provided you have a cardiac arrest in 2 weeks after making the call. Or your workshop offers a voucher of $ 200 provided you crush your car during the birthday month after giving an advance opinion of the workshop. The world would indeed be a fun place. But in this faithful corporate world of Excel sheets and commercial offers, we are all reduced to entries in CRM systems as recipients of empty birthday greetings and unusable gifts.

According to my experience, all over the world, the best way to make a bank really remember you and worry about you to miss a mortgage / loan payment. As soon as you miss one, you will get a personal phone call and an investigation into your well-being. You miss another, you will get a personalized mailer reminding you of the Miss. We also remember our obligations very graciously and receive an overview of the possible future scenarios, some of which could see you under a bridge, surviving on the ear wax and the navel.

So be a bad customer and you will get a personalized service, but do everything correctly and you receive automated emails offering gifts that have the given nature of a vacuum machine. I do not know if it will change, but I am sure, but if it is not the case, I am sure it is only because it is for my advantage.

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